Broken Glass
by weirdbatty
Summary: Set after the argument between Jace and Clary in City of Glass. Clary decides to become a Shadowhunter and prove her worth to not just Jace and the gang, but to herself. Join her on this adventure of self discovery, bravery and loss. This story is about doing what is right and not just taking the easy way out. This is about being yourself before trying to be anyone else.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments or any of its characters. The first paragraph was taken from The Mortal Instruments: City of Glass. I do not claim to own it. In fact, I'm going to **_**un**_**-claim it! It's not mine! Enjoy!**

…...

**Broken Glass **

**Chapter One: Realisation**

_You're a disaster for us, Clary! You're a mundane, you'll always be one, and you'll never be a Shadowhunter. You don't know how to think like we do, think about what's best for everyone–all you ever think about is yourself! But there's a war on now, or there will be, and I don't have the time or the inclination to follow around after you, trying to make sure you don't get one of us killed!"_

Clary stared at Jace, watching his chest rise and fall quickly, as if he had just run a marathon. His face was red with rage, his hands clenched into fists and shaking at his sides., But it was his eyes, his golden eyes that she loved so much that caught her attention, for they were staring straight into her green ones, empty, soulless, like he didn't care that she was standing there, right in front of him. He just wanted her _gone_.

She took a deep, staggering breath, staring right back at him with her fierce green eyes, blinking back the tears she knew she couldn't shed and stubbornly ignoring Isabelle and Alec as their heads swivelled form Clary to Jace as if they were watching a tennis match.

""_But they wouldn't know what tennis is, would they? No, because they _are _Shadowhunters, and you're just a lost little girl, stumbling around in a world she thinks she belongs to."" _

Clary shook those thoughts away, focusing instead on the hurtful words Jace had just thrown at her and trying to convince herself that it wasn't true, that she _was _a Shadowhunter. However much she tried she couldn't stop the lone tear that travelled down her cheek, but she brushed it away angrily with her gloved hand, looking at her chipped nail polish and thinking that that was how she felt right now, like bits of her were being chipped away until she was left alone, standing with nothing.

She clasped her hands together, taking another ragged breath and looking down, preparing herself for what she was going to say, what she _had _to say.

"_When you told me the first time that Valentine was your father, I didn't believe it, not just because I didn't want it to be true, but because you weren't anything like him. I've never thought you were anything like him. But you are. You _are_."_

Clary stared at Jace for what felt like hours but could only have been a few seconds before she turned on her heel and left, listening to the thump of her black boots and trying to ignore the burning in her eyes and the ache in her chest.

She walked straight down the hall and down the spiral stairs, listening for anything that might sound like footsteps, and though she knew she shouldn't she desperately, with all her heart wished Jace would come running out of his room, begging for her to stay and apologising to her.

She stopped at the door, turning to see if anyone had followed her, if anyone _cared _enough to follow her. She stood staring into the vacant entrance hall for only a minute before turning once more and vanishing through the door, not noticing the small head that poked around the corner, with crooked glasses and a worn magazine.

Clary stormed out the door, stomping down the road and onto the pebbled street, trying to remember the path back to Amatis' house. She took left turn, walking for a few minutes before turning down a side street and stopping in front of the red brick walls of the house she was currently residing in.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself to go in as she knew there was no point in trying to sneak back through the window, knowing she was too emotionally drained to even attempt to shimmy up the drain pipe, never mind the fact that her arms felt like lead and she was sure her legs were wobbling like jelly.

Putting her hand up to the door Clary debated knocking before rolling her eyes at herself. She was practically living here for the next few days and she was afraid to go inside without knocking.

""_That's what you are, you know….afraid, scared of everything. Jace was right; you _are _a Mundane, a stupid little Mundie trying to tag along. You will never be a Shadowhunter. All you will ever be is a nuisance…dead weight. And Jace doesn't need you in his life, and neither does Isabelle or Alec. Face it Clary, even Simon will move on eventually….."" _

Clary shook her head furiously, angrily tucking a lock of red hair behind one ear and trying desperately to ignore the burning in her eyes. She brought her hands up to her face, noticing for the first time how badly her hands were shaking.

And suddenly she was disgusted with herself. Her eyes widened comically and her mouth formed a little 'o' shape as she came to a realisation. And it was a startling realisation at that.

She was only a Mundane because she hadn't yet learned how to be a Shadowhunter. And she didn't need Jace or Isabelle or Alec to help her with _that._ All she needed was the help of the person whose house she was currently residing in, and perhaps the help of a certain High Warlock from Brooklyn.

…...

**And that's a wrap! I know it was short but this is only a tester chapter so I can see if people are interested! The chapters will get longer as I go on. Pinky promise ;) So what did you think? Good? Alright? Stupid? Boring? Let me know! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own the Mortal Instruments…Let me just say thank you to those of you who reviewed and favourite this story! And to NemiTheVeggieEater, I know! It was amazing! Jamie was the perfect Jace and Lily was the perfect Clary…and Robert Sheehan as Simon! Don't even get me started! It was just…..Perfect **

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**Chapter Two: Desperation **

"So after going through my trunk, taking out my old Shadowhunter gear and putting it on before sneaking out of the house in order to go visit the Lightwoods even though I told you under no circumstances were you to leave the house, you're asking me for _help?" _ Amatis looked at Clary for a moment with incredulous blue eyes before shaking her head and murmuring something under he breath.

Clary felt her shoulders slump and she immediately regretted going through the old trunk of Amatis' things. At first it had seemed innocent enough, going through an old trunk in the spare room. It wasn't until now that Clary realised that maybe the trunk was in the spare, hardly used room for a reason. And maybe that reason was that Amatis didn't want to remember what was in the trunk.

Deep shame welled in Clary's chest s she thought of the memories she must have brought up for Amatis, who had lived alone for years, shutting out any thoughts of her exiled brother and ex-husband as much as she could. And now she, Clary Fray, had been extremely rude and thoughtless by dragging those memories up and parading them around Amatis' kitchen.

She opened her mouth to apologise and offer to leave right away but Amatis beat her to it.

"You said you needed my help?" Amatis inquired, looking over Clary with a curiously interesting expression.

Clary stood, mouth gaping at the woman in front of her that she had thought was about to drag her out by the hair and tell her never to return.

It was like her brain had shut down. She couldn't think, couldn't speak. All she could do was gape wordlessly at Amatis who had by now gotten tired of waiting for an answer and had begun to make a pot of tea.

It was the whistle signalling that the tea was ready that brought Clary out of her stupor. She took a deep breath, calming her nerves and fingering one of the fingerless leather gloves that she hd pulled off as she entered the house.

"The thing is…the reason I need your help is.…my mother lied to me for my whole life and I want….that is, I _need_…what I'm trying to ask you is-" Clary was cut off by Amatis who had evidently tired of Clary's choppy speaking.

"You want me to help you become a Shadowhunter."

It was a statement and Amatis said it breezily, as if it was every day someone who had rummaged through your things and taken what they fancied came asking for help in training them to become a Shadowhunter after living as a Mundane her whole life and being years behind every other Shadowhunter above twelve years old.

Clary could only nod mutely; too shocked that Amatis had guessed so easily what she had desperately wanted to ask. She thought of the pictures she had seen of her mother, pictures in which she was fierce and strong, battling against demons. She thought of Jace and Alec and Isabelle, fighting with each other and defending each other through everything.

And she thought of Simon and how he would live forever, watching everyone he loved die because Clary had dragged him into a world that she knew he didn't belong in. It was her fault that Simon was the way he was and she would be damned if she let something like that happen to anyone she loved ever again.

The easy was out would be to leave, to try and forget she had ever entered the Shadow world. But she knew in her heart she couldn't. She couldn't leave her mother behind, or Simon. She would never be able to forget Isabelle and her whip, or Alec and his dark eyes full of secrets but also a hidden vulnerability.

She thought of Max, always eager to learn new things and help everyone out. Clary remembered the promise she had made him, she remembered the way his eyes had lit up and he had given her the brightest smile he could before going and skipping down the hallway with a worn manga comic clutched in one hand. Her heart ached as she realised it was very unlikely that she would get to fulfil that promise.

And the next thought she had was almost unwilling. She didn't want to think about him, but she knew in her heart that she couldn't bear to forget.

Jace.

That one word, one name caused her so much pain, so much heartache. She looked away from the inquisitive gaze of Amatis and instead stared out the window, watching the sun set in a golden ray of light and idly thinking about how the colour could have matched the golden eyes of a certain person.

And then she thought of how only a few hours ago Jace had shouted at her with clenched fists and told her to leave, his eyes flashing dangerously before hardening into a solid gold pool of mild, emotionless indifference.

And it was memory more than anything that spurred Clary to talk, and as soon as she started it was like she had opened a flood gate. She couldn't stop and surprisingly she didn't really _want_ to stop.

"Yes. Please, Amatis. I'm sorry that I went through your things and snuck out of the house and I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going. I'm sorry that I just barged into your life and I'm sorry that I brought Luke with me. If I had known about the danger that would put him in I would never have come here! You have to believe me! Please? And I know I haven't given you any reason to help me but I'm begging you. Valentine is back and looking for me and I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just stumbling around trying not to get myself and others killed and I need your help! The Lightwoods won't help me; to them I'm a lost cause, too old to be able to learn anything of importance, anything that might help them. But I need this. Please Amatis…Please." Clary had started out strong; her voice raised above the normal volume. But she ended in a broken whisper, knowing that whatever reply came from Amatis might be her only shot at proving to herself _and _everyone else that she _could_ do this.

She, Clary Fray/Fairchild/Morgenstern, the girl who had grown up all her life as a Mundie, _could _become a Shadowhunter, if only someone would show her how.

Amatis surveyed her with no small amount of surprise. The tone of Clary's voice was tinged with desperation, which was a tone Amatis herself knew quite well. Despite the fact that Clary's voice had broken at the end of her little speech Amatis did not doubt her words, not one little bit.

Staring into the emerald green eyes of the young girl that were sparkling with the desperate plea of someone whose very life might depend on the answer you gave them Amatis didn't even have to think twice. Sipping her tea and placing the old blue china cup carefully down on the table Amatis looked up and met Clary's desperate but determined eyes.

"Ok, alright. But you should be prepared. This won't be easy, Clary," Amatis paused here, contemplating what words to say next. "You will be pushed to your limits. Because you're starting older than most Shadowhunters it will be harder for you to grasp simple things but I won't be lenient with you. I _will _push you. You have to be sure that you want this but more than anything you have to believe that you can do this because if you go into this thinking that you aren't good enough then you will _never be good enough_. Do you understand what I'm telling you Clary?"

Clary stared back at her twisting and untwisting the leather glove in her hand with her small fingers, leaning against the kitchen counter,

""_Am I ready for this? Can I do this?""_

"Yes, I understand. I want to do this, Amatis, please."

And that was that.

_Max Lightwood had never been particularly good at following instructions so when he saw Clary, who had always been nice to him, had never told him to go away and had even given his some of her old manga comics, storm out of the house in tears he knew something was up, and when he heard raised voices in coming from the room he had been forbidden to enter his earlier suspicion had been confirmed. _

Clary had come to see Jace and had been turned away. Max, although young, wasn't stupid. He heard part of the conversation, heard Jace as he shouted at Clary, as he destroyed her with harsh words that hurt so much more because they were coming from _him. _And Max knew then that he would do whatever it took to help Clary, even if it meant going against the orders of Jace or Alec or Isabelle, or even his parents.

Max knew the difference between hurting someone just to hurt them and hurting someone to keep them safe. And he knew Jace well enough to hear the anguish hidden behind the harsh words and hateful glares. So really Max was doing the right thing, leaving the Penhallows' house and following Clary out the door.

He wasn't doing this because he was bored and he had nothing to do and people kept telling him to go away. He was doing this to help Clary and Jace.

It was only an added bonus, really, sneaking out of the house and into an adventure.

….

**Alright, how was that? Ok? Thanks you to all the people who left reviews, I love you all! And to the people who read the story but didn't review...I love you too! Let me know what you want to happen, suggestions on pairings and things. I have a plan but nothing is written in stone! Thanks all, love you **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: don't own this, never have and probably never will. Please take the time to review, thanks! And let me know if you have any ideas on how I could improve this fanfic ;) Much appreciated;***

**Chapter three: A Helping Hand**

Max grinned to himself as he followed Clary out the door. _He was going on his first real adventure!_ He adjusted his lopsided glasses as he hurried down the street after Clary, ignoring the fact that they just fell crooked again, a side effect of having two different sized ears.

He stopped for a second trying to catch a glimpse of Clary's red curls and breathing a sigh of relief when he spotted her turning down a street. He shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose again and followed behind her at a safe distance, leaving enough space between them so he could hide if she suddenly decided to look back.

Max turned down the street just in time to see Clary disappear down a side street to the left. He nodded to himself at his brilliance but was inwardly glad he had caught her because they were too far away from the house now for him to find his way back without getting lost and if he had missed Clary his adventure would be over!

Max shoved his hand through his hair like he had seen Jace do countless times before as he turned and crept down the street behind Clary. He was closer to her now then he had been since he left the house and he could her his heart begin to pound as he thought of all the trouble her would get into if he was caught.

Distracted as he was with thoughts of the punishment he would receive form his parents, he didn't notice the stone on the cobbled road in front of him until he had already kicked it and heard it make a loud impact with the wall parallel to him. He cringed, closing his eyes and waiting for Clary to turn around and scold him, internally berating himself as thoughts of the great adventure he was going to have slipped away.

And Max waited, eyes closed and breathe held. And he waited. And he waited until deciding to crack one eye open, curiosity of not knowing whether or not he had been caught getting the better of him.

He breathed a huge sigh of relief as he noticed Clary had stopped in front of the door to where Max presumed she was staying for this unplanned trip. He was curious as to why she looked so nevous, standing there quietly and tucking a lock of hair behind one ear. He was just considering going up and knocking on the door himself, his impatience getting the better of him, when she _finally _pulled herself together enough to open a door.

He waited a few seconds before creeping up to the open window, sitting cross-legged underneath it and waiting for something interesting to happen. He was lucky because he didn't have to wait long.

And to say Max was shocked would be an understatement. He almost regretted following Clary, _almost_. To know that Clary had been told to leave had hurt Max and he tried not to think about all the times he had been told to go away. His eyes burned when he thought of the lonely hours he had spent by himself, wishing he was old enough to be able to join in on the secret conversations the rest of his family had.

But at least people always came to get him after a while. And he knew his family loved him…he also knew that Clary didn't have the same comfort.

From what he knew her mom had apparently lied to Clary for her whole life before taking some potion and putting herself into a coma. He knew Valentine was her father so she had no hope of any love coming from him. Luck had also lied to her for her whole life, albeit reluctantly, and had now seemingly abandoned her alone somewhere she had never been before.

Simon had been coming and going but seemed to act like he almost didn't want to be there. Max also knew that Alec, while he didn't hate Clary also did not particularly like her. He knew Isabelle liked her, but they weren't close enough to be able to talk about anything that serious. And really, that just left Jace.

Max clenched his fists as he thought of the pain in Clary's voice when she had spoken to the lady he didn't know the name of about what had Jace had told her. He couldn't believe Jace could be so _mean. _

Jace had always been willing to help Max out, even though he was apparently young and annoying and liked following people around. Jace had taught max how to throw knives at a target, how to tie a not that was extremely hard to untie, how to hide yourself from people that wanted to find you.

And here he was hearing Clary talk about all the things Jace had did told her. How he had called her useless, a _distraction _(here Max winced, thinking of all the times _he_ had been called a distraction before being shuffled out of a room) and he made a decision, one that would define him and single him out from the rest of his family.

He had been taught to respect others, to be proud and to honour his family. He had been taught that loyalty to your family, above all else was something that he should forever have, and that after giving his loyalty to someone, trusting someone as he would his family, he should _never _waver, never back down.

And so he Max Lightwood, only nine years old declared his loyalty, declared his unwavering trust to someone he had only known a few short weeks, but he was sure he could count on for the rest of his life. He chose to help someone like he hoped someone would help him, should he ever need it.

His parents had taught him that family was something to be valued and Max was damn sure that he wanted to help Clary get hers back. Taking a deep breath to try and steady his frantically beating heart Max pushed himself up off the ground, twirling a blade of grass nervously between his forefinger and thumb.

He braced himself on the outer ledge of the window and crouched slightly, making sure his knees were bent before springing up and landing on the ledge, mentally thanking Alec for teaching him how to do it. He slipped through the small window, thankful for once for his small frame and landed silently on the wooden floors.

He stopped once he was inside, tilting his head to one side and listening for a lull in the conversation because if he had learned one thing from his sister Isabelle it was how to be dramatic. He noticed that there was no one speaking and took a step forward, glad to be finally doing something himself, without any help from his parents. He thought of how cool it was going to be helping Clary. Maybe he could spy on Alec and Isabelle and Jace, overhear their secret conversations. And he and Clary were going to have their own secret meeting place.

Max was excited, he had to admit. He was finally growing up. He was looking forward to it. Now all he had to do was go into the next room and tell Clary his plan and he would be able to have the best adventure ever! He knew it was going to be so much fun!

If only he made it far enough to tell her.

**And there we have it! Chapter three is up (finally) so please let me know what you think ;) Thanks all, Eimear Buckley xx**


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